10.20.2009

Luke Skywalker had "Daddy Issues"

Of course, I'm no Jedi. I wasn't even a soldier. My dad was: A proud US Marine. He served in Vietnam, but doesn't talk too much about it. It is only recently that I've come to know anything substantial about my Dad, actually.

Oh, I knew he loved me, and was a strong man, and cared very much for his family as a whole. But these are abstractions. What motivated him? What kept him faithful? I could contend his Arabic culture and Greek-Orthodox upbringing, but it might be only half right, if at all. More importantly, what will keep me a good father? Even a decent one?

There is a label, in Arabic, that is interesting. It's pronounced "Abu-Dye", roughly. "Abu" means "father of" , but "Dye" isn't a name. My dad is "Abu-Nasrallah", as I'm his first born. But "Abu-Dye" is a sign of reverence and respect. It's interesting that this title includes the implication of fatherhood. It is a moniker that my father once told me he hoped to have one day. This was revealing. Will I aspire to as much?

In June 2010, God willing, I will be "Abu-(Who?)". I'm scared, excited, intimidated and overjoyed. I hope my child will be great. I hope the journey is safe. I know that I have no idea what's in store. Will I be my child's Luke Skywalker, or their Darth Vader? Probably a little of both. I'm looking forward to finding out.

(A note on the title of this blog: "Next-Gen" is a term often used to refer to videogames, a hobby I am very familiar with. Unfortunately, the culture in which I live is often more concerned with the "next big thing" in technology and entertainment than, well, life and family. So, I'm taking "Next-Gen" back! Also, while "Son" is in the title of this blog, that refers to me, and not necessarily the gender of my future child.)